The FediForum Fiasco
5 days ago
While I will probably get attacked for this, I think I need to say something as a person who does not conform to gender stereotypes. The whole fiasco relating to #FediForum being cancelled due to statements made by one of the co-organizers of the event is a hot mess.
When some trans people realized that one of the co-organizers had made statements that were perceived as transphobic, a social media storm ensued, with people backing out and overall were very upset at what was said by the co-organizer. And rightly so. Some of the things that were said were upsetting. Tempers were high, and there were some threats made by various parties.
When this came to light, organizer @Johannes Ernst made a post stating that these statements made by the co-organizer were not consistent with the event, and said that the co-organizer would be leaving. And about 24 hours later, posted from the official account for the event that she has been removed from involvement. Some people are claiming that 24 hours is way too slow of a response, but I think they are being unrealistic and unnecessarily critical.
And then the threats and attacks kept coming, so it was decided that the event would be cancelled, which was probably a good move considering the situation. And no matter what Johannes did, someone would be upset. It was certainly was no-win situation.
But, this whole fiasco has me thinking. How could this have been handled better?
Proper vetting of co-organizers would probably be good. Posting your political thoughts under an alias would also be a good idea.
I am proud of the people who pointed out that the co-organizer's behavior was inconsistent with the event's code of conduct. And I am glad that Johannes did something about it.
But I am also questioning the attacks made by certain individuals. I can understand pointing out that a person's behavior is not consistent with the stated code of conduct of the event and requesting that person's removal from the event, but some people went too far by making threats, calling people rude names, and just being mean. That is not a good thing and just makes the rest of us look bad to outsiders.
It also makes me wonder if only people on the left are welcome to this event in the future. Because, apparently, if you have a different opinion, you might just get attacked.
So do I just not invite my moderate and right leaning friends to future events? They are not transphobic. Heck, they not only put up with me, but are nice to me, despite the fact that I don't conform to gender stereotypes. But they aren't on the left politically either. Will they get attacked for not being a leftist or because they said something wrong years ago?
So, I don't know what the future holds for @FediForum but I certainly don't view it as a non-partisan event any more.
Anyway, enough of this rant. I will probably be blocked, banned, attacked, or whatever. But someone had to say it.
When some trans people realized that one of the co-organizers had made statements that were perceived as transphobic, a social media storm ensued, with people backing out and overall were very upset at what was said by the co-organizer. And rightly so. Some of the things that were said were upsetting. Tempers were high, and there were some threats made by various parties.
When this came to light, organizer @Johannes Ernst made a post stating that these statements made by the co-organizer were not consistent with the event, and said that the co-organizer would be leaving. And about 24 hours later, posted from the official account for the event that she has been removed from involvement. Some people are claiming that 24 hours is way too slow of a response, but I think they are being unrealistic and unnecessarily critical.
And then the threats and attacks kept coming, so it was decided that the event would be cancelled, which was probably a good move considering the situation. And no matter what Johannes did, someone would be upset. It was certainly was no-win situation.
But, this whole fiasco has me thinking. How could this have been handled better?
Proper vetting of co-organizers would probably be good. Posting your political thoughts under an alias would also be a good idea.
I am proud of the people who pointed out that the co-organizer's behavior was inconsistent with the event's code of conduct. And I am glad that Johannes did something about it.
But I am also questioning the attacks made by certain individuals. I can understand pointing out that a person's behavior is not consistent with the stated code of conduct of the event and requesting that person's removal from the event, but some people went too far by making threats, calling people rude names, and just being mean. That is not a good thing and just makes the rest of us look bad to outsiders.
It also makes me wonder if only people on the left are welcome to this event in the future. Because, apparently, if you have a different opinion, you might just get attacked.
So do I just not invite my moderate and right leaning friends to future events? They are not transphobic. Heck, they not only put up with me, but are nice to me, despite the fact that I don't conform to gender stereotypes. But they aren't on the left politically either. Will they get attacked for not being a leftist or because they said something wrong years ago?
So, I don't know what the future holds for @FediForum but I certainly don't view it as a non-partisan event any more.
Anyway, enough of this rant. I will probably be blocked, banned, attacked, or whatever. But someone had to say it.
5 days ago
I hear you 👏🏿
Lola
7 days ago
Normally I just keep to myself, but maybe I should branch out on #TransVisibilityDay and hopefully find some people who are not too judgmental.
5 days ago
That's okay. I like flying under the radar. I'm less likely to be attacked by anti-trans people, and also less likely to be attacked by trans people who take offense to anything. I may not fit people's gender stereotypes, but I am not so insecure that I perceive different opinions as threats. Unlike some of the more vocal trans people, and as someone who looks CIS but doesn't act like one, I respect everyone's choice of lifestyle. So I tend to get attacked by both trans and anti-trans. So blending into the background is a defense mechanism.
1 month ago
Hmm, now I can leave a mumble here 🙄
I need some sleep. And a nice curvy person, feeding me grapes and telling me how (well I'll settle for) sweet, I am. 'Smartypants' has become a misnomer at last, where's the bridge 😭
I need some sleep. And a nice curvy person, feeding me grapes and telling me how (well I'll settle for) sweet, I am. 'Smartypants' has become a misnomer at last, where's the bridge 😭
1 month ago
I’m Always There For Others 🐦 Birdie Friendship | Animation Meme | Original Audio: Matt Curtin
by Under Studio on YouTube
1 month ago
I hate racists. And not just the obvious kind. I also hate the racists that think they aren't racist, yet think like a racist.
1 month ago
To get the "perfect" relationship (or more realistically the ideal relationship for you and your partner), you have to do four things:
1. Get very clear about what you want and don't want in a relationship.
2. Clearly communicate what you want to prospective mates and partners.
3. Be real to your prospective partners. Don't try to impress them by being fake. Be yourself. Be honest.
4. Meet a lot of people and don't settle.
1. Get very clear about what you want and don't want in a relationship.
2. Clearly communicate what you want to prospective mates and partners.
3. Be real to your prospective partners. Don't try to impress them by being fake. Be yourself. Be honest.
4. Meet a lot of people and don't settle.
@Et Glad to have you. If you need any assistance, please contact me or post in the @Hubzilla Monster Support forum. I get a lot of messages, so I am more likely to see it in the forum, which I check periodically. If I set things up correctly, it should already be one of your first connections.
@Et There are two ways to send direct messages.
The first is to use the @! method. The easiest way is to start with @ and the first 3 letters of their channel address or name and it will give you a list to pick from. Click on the one your want, and then add the ! after the @ sign. Note that this only works for new posts, not for comments. You have to start a new conversation.
Note that it won't show the list until you type the first 3 characters. For you, someone would need to type
The other way is to go to /hq or your channel and start a new post. Click on the padlock and pick the people who you want to send the direct message to.
It should be noted that @! creates a new public post on a forum if you are addressing a forum.
The first is to use the @! method. The easiest way is to start with @ and the first 3 letters of their channel address or name and it will give you a list to pick from. Click on the one your want, and then add the ! after the @ sign. Note that this only works for new posts, not for comments. You have to start a new conversation.
Note that it won't show the list until you type the first 3 characters. For you, someone would need to type
et@ before you would come up in the list.The other way is to go to /hq or your channel and start a new post. Click on the padlock and pick the people who you want to send the direct message to.
It should be noted that @! creates a new public post on a forum if you are addressing a forum.
1 month ago
You know you are a feminine guy when lesbians are sexually attracted to you.
@Et It is perilous. Revealing yourself to the wrong person can be disastrous. Because of that, I would say that most people don't ever reveal their true self to others. They go through life behind a mask.
I am someone who people generally feel comfortable talking to. I have had several people come out of the closet with me, with me being the first person they ever told. I have had people admit what they really wanted sexually. I've met feminists that want a career and I've met women who want to stay home and make babies. I've meet dominant people and submissive people. People really are diverse when they take off their mask.
I am someone who people generally feel comfortable talking to. I have had several people come out of the closet with me, with me being the first person they ever told. I have had people admit what they really wanted sexually. I've met feminists that want a career and I've met women who want to stay home and make babies. I've meet dominant people and submissive people. People really are diverse when they take off their mask.
@Et I do accept people for the way they are. As someone who wears a mask myself, it is easier for me to see those also wearing a mask. And it is most of us.
No matter how taboo society makes it, we are two things: we are sexual creatures and we are economic creatures. And, economics has a lot more influence on sexuality than most people think. Lust and the desire for a better life are powerful motivators, and sometimes there is a conflict between them. And what turns one person on turns another person off.
It is also about separating the person from the actions they take. I may object to or condemn specific actions, but I don't condemn the person. I try to guide them to make the best decision. It's like the movie Gran Torino. Everyone has a dark side and a light side. Labelling someone good or bad is a gross oversimplification.
No matter how taboo society makes it, we are two things: we are sexual creatures and we are economic creatures. And, economics has a lot more influence on sexuality than most people think. Lust and the desire for a better life are powerful motivators, and sometimes there is a conflict between them. And what turns one person on turns another person off.
It is also about separating the person from the actions they take. I may object to or condemn specific actions, but I don't condemn the person. I try to guide them to make the best decision. It's like the movie Gran Torino. Everyone has a dark side and a light side. Labelling someone good or bad is a gross oversimplification.
1 month ago
I just realized something. Adults when I grew up, for the most part, were tolerant and accepting of trans people and other races, and it was socially unacceptable to be racist or bigoted. But the kids when I grew up were utter jerks, and if you did not fit in, they bullied you. Now those kids are adults, and we have all of this racism and hate going around. I guess those kids did not learn their lesson and continued to be bullies into adulthood.
@Marshall Sutherland I just ordered "The Fourth Turning is Here". Watching https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIccg0X6Ijg doesn't make me sleep better. So it will be be WWIII or an American civil war 😱
2 months ago
I know a lot of people are under stress, but it's not really fair to others when you take your frustration out on innocent people.